Finding mom

Submitted by Anonymous on December 28, 2009 - 9:37pm


December 31, 2009 - 11:57am

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nancy. I know how profound the loss of one's mother can be, regardless of their age—or ours, when we lose them. My wish for you is that your Mom's passing will lead you to new discoveries about life and (the illusion of) "death"—and to new realizations about your own, true, eternal identity. That's why we're here after all, to experience and feel everything deeply (the highs and the lows), to ask important questions when life disappoints us (and pay attention to the answers!)—and to expand and evolve from all of the above.

Our ability to comprehend the eternal nature of the soul is pretty challenging for us, we spiritual beings who are having a momentary earthly experience in this three-dimensional, physical reality. In physical form, our understanding is limited when we view life through a particular lens that filters our perceptions and influences our beliefs—most of all, those involving the concept of "death." This tunnel(ed) vision inhibits our ability to feel the presence of loved ones who have "dropped the body," leaving us feeling quite alone and separate from them—and often abandoned by a Higher Power as well.

Here a quote from a book i just finished, The Shack, not a literary masterpiece (in my opinion), but a wonderfully creative depiction of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Here, Sarayu, the personification of the Holy Spirit is trying to help Mack comprehend the nature of his emotions in the aftermath of the abduction and murder of his young daughter:

"Paradigms power perception and perceptions power emotions." Most emotions are responses to perception—what you think is true about a given situation. If your perception is false, then your emotional response to it will be false too. So check your perceptions, and beyond that check the truthfulness of your paradigms—what you believe. Just because you believe something firmly doesn't make it true. Be willing to reexamine what you believe. The more you live in the truth, the more your emotions will help you see clearly. But even then, you don't want to trust them more than me" (the Holy Spirit).

Amazing things will happen, Nancy, when you allow your beliefs to shift re. your mother's "death." Ask to be shown. When you open up to the notion that the soul never dies—that there truly exists a continuum of consciousness (I refer to as "streaming consciousness")—you'll access the conduit that connects you and your mother, eternally.

Here's my all-time favorite example of this continuum of consciousness:

Several years ago, I was reading a client in London, a middle-aged, successful entrepreneur. He was a meditator (able to quiet himself) and did often feel the presence of his beloved wife who had passed almost a year before. I interpreted the following (telepathic) projections from his ("non-physical") wife: "Now," she began, "about that conversation we were having before we were so rudely interrupted by my death!"

I love this demonstration of our ongoing, seamless, timeless consciousness that continues beyond the physical. You can trust that your mother's thoughts and feelings, memories, humor—never ended and continue on with her energy. She is now free from the limitations of being physical, experiencing expanded awareness, insights, and the "non-local" nature of her spirit. This means that as pure consciousness—pure thought—your mother can be anywhere—and everywhere at the same time.

It's misleading to perceive that your mother has gone some "where"—to some place: the "other side," to heaven....wherever. This is simply a projection of your own time-space (place) reality. In order to operate in the physical, we must fit everything into a chronological time-frame (which stresses the spirit no end), placing everything and everyone as being "here"....or "there." Your mom has been released into a "no-time (no-place) zone." I myself, spend most of my professional life in this "no-time zone."

Trust the amazing conduit that still connects you and your Mom, the heart connection. It will become easier as you change the lens of your perceptions. The sensing of her presence will become more discernible and more distinct—yes, often appearing in the corner of your eye in the briefest, most unexpected moment. But drop your expectations as to how she will come to you. She will send you "cosmic winks" in her own way.

I mention in Heart-Links that loved ones often say, "If you want us to come to you in a dream, let your last thoughts before sleep be ones of gratitude. They open your heart and let us come through more clearly." Your mother is there with you when you gaze upon something that reminds you of her, or when you simply feel a wave of love for her. These are sure-fire ways to "dial her up."

All my love to you and your mother as you embark together on this new, amazing journey, discovering the true nature of your timeless selves—and that your heart connection is indeed, eternal.


Thank you for your thoughts and help. I appreciate it very much. I have looked for some readings but haven't found a lot yet. I wondered if you could recommend some reading about this topic. Thank you so much again.

My book focuses on communication with loved ones—who I now choose to refer to as simply "non-physical" souls, since they've really not gone some where. The book includes instructive (and sometimes humorous) sessions where I've interpreted for clients' loved ones, as well as helpful tools to facilitate your own emerging trust in your ability to be in touch.


December 6, 2010 - 9:45am

Hi, I'm new to the forum but I know what you mean. I lost my mom almost 14 years ago when I was 20. It was very hard. I feel like some things were left unsaid. She did not give us a stable childhood among some other issues. I wish I could talk to her, ask her questions and basically get some information on family. Things I did not ask and wish I did. I know she is with me and I love her but some things she did while I was growing up still drive me crazy. She never met her grandkids so that makes me sad too. They are just now beginning to ask questions about her. It was suggested to me that I write a story about her for my kids. Will work on that soon, maybe over the holidays.
Best wishes and have a blessed day.


It's never too late, Jenn, to bring unresolved issues into balance, even when they involve those who have "dropped the body." Writing your mother a letter would have a powerful effect. I can't tell you how often loved ones (and not so loved ones) present themselves in consultations, announcing, "I got your letter!" Sometimes they transmit the scene in which my client is sitting in a group, sharing with others. They're indicating, "Your healing is my healing."

Once you've taken time to process your feelings and the effects resulting from the relationship with your mother, and once you've taken a look at how the challenges have inevitably expanded you — you're ready to release the pain, grief, frustration — and face forward. Don't be surprised when you start to feel your mom in your heart.

Excellent idea to write the story about your mother for your kids. It will be incredibly valuable for them — and for you and your mother as well!

much love


January 18, 2011 - 3:44pm

Patrish passed on 13 years ago, Jan 10th....Much too young to leave us but her time came and she was gone with cancer of the brain stem....She did not suffer and passed on with dignity in about 2.5 months of our finding out the problem. Her last words, 3 days before her departure on the phone was, " I love you, and will hold you in my heart for eternity!"
Since then she has visited our family on holidays at the dinner daughters and I would pause and start laughing simultaneously and say, "Mom is here!" We could feel her presence and welcomed her! Other times she would visit me in my sleep. We would talk and share time together, always telling one another we loved each other! I ask how she is doing but do not receive an answer. She is beautiful and appears about 35 years old...She is filled with peace each time we meet.
Louise you knew her and she introduced us indirectly. I thank her and you for being in my life. Both are precious souls.
Much love to both of you,

My mom died three weeks ago. I find myself wondering where she is and wanting to connect with her. I've seen glimpses of her here and there but I wish it were more. One of the hardest things for me is that I can't visualize where she is.