Metaphysical Arrogance
Years ago, I learned a valuable lesson that added to my spiritual maturity. As is often the case, my most excellent teachings and insights come from the information I receive for clients in their consultations.
I was consulting for the mother of a two-year-old. She was grieving the loss of that son, who had recently perished from drinking from a can of kerosene he discovered in the garage.
Oh, how I wanted to rush in and announce, "Oh, wait! I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU! WE REALLY DON'T 'DIE!' YOUR SON IS RIGHT HERE!"
But I stopped myself in time, realizing how disrespectful and dismissive it would be for me to deliver that 'good news.' How minimizing my words would sound, how demeaning to sit before one experiencing such deep, deep grief and profound loss.
One could say such a response would border on ‘metaphysical arrogance!’
From observing myself, I learned that when we haven't dealt with and processed our own pain, it feels unbearable to witness another's. We want to rush in and make it stop.
Instead, I said, "I can't know that kind of pain. I can't know how it feels to lose a child." I sat with her for a few minutes, and then I asked if she would be open to my metaphysical perspective since she was there for a consultation.
Something remarkable happens when we've learned to attend to our own emotions arising mid-crisis—embracing them (being real), processing them (shifting from reactive to 'observer mode'), and then gaining valuable insights and a greater understanding of our own spiritual journey.
This is how we become better equipped to handle another's pain and resist the impulse to rush in and 'save' that soul or take away their pain.
Then we can empathize—to feel WITH—another or sympathize—to feel FOR—that person. Spirit then moves us to transmit to that person our faith in their ability to take the next step, whatever it might be for them. We share our love and confidence that they’ll find the courage and resources within themselves—all they’ll need.
I found this quote from Earnest Hemingway ~ so poignant and relevant today:
"In our darkest moments, we don’t need solutions or advice. What we yearn for is simply human connection—a quiet presence, a gentle touch. These small gestures are the anchors that hold us steady when life feels like too much.
Please don’t try to fix me. Don’t take on my pain or push away my shadows. Just sit beside me as I work through my own inner storms. Be the steady hand I can reach for as I find my way.
My pain is mine to carry, my battles mine to face. But your presence reminds me I’m not alone in this vast, sometimes frightening world. It’s a quiet reminder that I am worthy of love, even when I feel broken.
So, in those dark hours when I lose my way, will you just be here? Not as a rescuer but as a companion. Hold my hand until the dawn arrives, helping me remember my strength.
Your silent support is the most precious gift you can give. It’s a love that helps me remember who I am, even when I forget."