A Tale of Forgiveness

Friday, April 18th, 2014

from Heart-Links, Chapter 8: Forgiveness


May 1999

I began my presentation one evening at the Learning Exchange in Sacramento, California, as I usually do. I described how I receive intuitive information and what I do with it—how I interpret and for what purposes—and what my audience can do to become clearer receivers themselves. Then it’s time to 'tune in.'

I usually bring through two kinds of information for random people in the group: one, a sample of a future moment where participants have gained an insight, as opposed to a future 'fortune-telling' moment that will presumably jump into their laps while they sit back on their road of life; and two, messages from friends and family on the Other Side.

I first explain that I only interpret for souls who have gone to the Light—I don’t do “ghost-busting”—and that when I’m sorting out their messages, I never know if they are transmitting a memory or a message. Sometimes it’s very much like charades: they act out puns, handing the participant a rose (when their name was Rose). They show me old habits (like tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in their mouth) and sometimes they even show me more personal characteristics or traits.

I always trust when I do this random “tuning in” that the information I receive won’t be intrusive to someone, and will always come in a way that is for their highest good. I ask for that in my invocation.

This evening at the Learning Exchange, I was tuning in to the last few people who I would approach in the audience. I walked down the aisle and felt a pull to my right, where a young woman sat on the aisle next to another woman, then a man and a boy.

At first I didn’t recognize the woman who sat by her husband and son as one who I had tuned in to at a previous Learning Exchange evening six months before. Messages came in so clearly from Tyler this evening, for his whole family. It turned out to be the first experience of this kind for Kathy’s husband and son. She had coaxed them into attending that evening, with hopes that I might be able to demonstrate that their beloved Tyler was still connected to them.

I felt so grateful and so guided that evening. It happened perfectly and appropriately that I was 'nudged' to approach this family at the end of my presentation, after Kathy’s husband and son had the opportunity to get a bit desensitized, helping them to feel more comfortable with all that I would eventually give them from Tyler.

In the end, Tyler and his family have given us a tremendous gift: a touching example of the ability—and opportunity—to forgive. When we ask for the answers that help us process and heal the pain from our life’s challenges, we are able to forgive. It’s a gift to ourselves. Forgiveness releases us from bitterness, anger and fear. It balances and brings closure to old grievances. Then we are free to receive a new, more positive, expansive future.

First and Second Class with Louise

On March 14, 1998, my son Tyler died as a passenger in a single-car accident. He was twenty-one years old and he died just minutes from our house, the house he had lived in all his life. In my grief I was searching for a way to connect with Tyler. I just felt that he was so near and I would not have to wait until I died to hear from him and for him to hear me.

So, I attended Louise’s talk by myself. This was in October of 1998. The session was just ending and I raised my hand to ask a question. When Louise came to me, she said that Tyler had just popped in beside me and was handing me a microphone. Tyler loved to sing and had a professional microphone. She asked me if he was a comedian. I answered that he was hilarious.

The third question was the confirming one for me. She asked, “Was there something about the color yellow around him?” We have all come to think of the color yellow as a symbol of Tyler. He liked to wear these bright yellow T-shirts. We have done many things with yellow in Tyler’s memory. It confirmed to me that Tyler is with us and knows what we are doing.

I anxiously waited for Louise’s next talk. This was in May 1999. I brought my husband, David, Tyler’s father, and my older son, Jason, Tyler’s only sibling. I did feel that there was a strong chance that Tyler would contact us that night. We all have had visitation dreams from Tyler. Our bond continued to be so strong.

The Learning Exchange

May 24, 1999
We arrived at the Learning Exchange classroom with hope. We were so hoping to connect with Tyler, and I (Kathy) was anxious that David and Jason would get the opportunity that I had when I attended the last talk. We had a very rewarding experience that evening.

Toward the end of the readings, Louise came to David. She said that she felt a lot of anger in David. She began by asking about David’s father. Was he over-authoritative? No. Did he drink? Yes. Did he work on cars? Yes. Was David angry about his father’s drinking? Not really.

David then told her about losing Tyler. Louise stated that that would certainly make you feel anger. She asked if Tyler had had a hard time breathing. (She asked this the last time I saw her.) We told her that he probably had. Louise said she had the sensation that he had been leaning to the left and slid into the accident. We said that he definitely had been leaning to the left, to try to correct the steering wheel.

Tyler was the outside passenger in a pickup truck. She then described how he hit. She said Tyler was telling her that it felt like jumping on a mattress, like the sensation as you jump and fly up. She asked if he used to jump on the beds. David answered, “Yes.” He was thinking of their trips to Lee Vining, a place where the boys loved to go and where they frequently jumped on the beds. Tyler told her that was how it felt for him in the accident. It was like bouncing on the bed when he left his body.

Tyler told her a message for Jason, that “he should try it.” But, then he said something on the order of “Not really!” He meant it as a joke. Tyler had a tremendous sense of humor that sometimes could be “slightly twisted” (Jason’s description). Louise asked Jason if he felt guilty. Jason answered yes. She said to Jason, “Tyler is saying not to feel guilty. You do not need to. He knows that there are things that you wish you could have resolved with him.”

Louise said that he had come to three out of four of us in our dreams. (Our friend Laura, who was sitting with us, was the fourth and she had not dreamed of Tyler.) Louise asked if Jason had dreamed of Tyler. Jason answered he dreamed of him all the time. Tyler said that he was with Jason often, in his sleep.
She asked if there was a child that Tyler had been close to. We said yes, thinking of Paulie, the younger brother of Stephanie. Stephanie is Tyler’s former girlfriend. Then Tyler talked about us giving something of his to Paulie.

We explained that we had done just that when they came over unexpectedly the night before. It just happened to be David’s birthday. David gave Paulie a trophy from when Tyler and David played on the softball team together.

Louise asked if he had some toy cars and something about boxes. Tyler’s Hot Wheels cars are in boxes. Tyler was telling her they were to be for a grandchild. David and I had already decided to put the cars away and let the little visiting children play with the new cars we bought. We feel that Tyler had already communicated this to us.

She then asked about a car in the grass. Had David been working on it? We answered that the Corvette was being fixed up and that it had been in the grass. Tyler’s pickup also is parked in our driveway in the grass.

She then asked about a hat. I told her about the TY hat and how we wouldn’t tell anyone that the TY was for the Tampa Yankees. He would just say it is for TY! We had also given one of Tyler’s best friends a TY hat just the week before.

Toward the end, Louise asked if Tyler had a collection of coins or something. Did he sneak something out and replace it? Tyler had many collections, I answered. “If he did, he may have gotten away with it.” At that everyone laughed and the talk came to an end.

The experience answered some important questions for us. We were all overwhelmed with gratitude for Louise’s gift that enabled us to hear from our loved and so-missed Tyler. We also are more aware that Tyler is so close and that he is able to get through to us over and over.

Kathy’s Session with Louise

May 1999
Louise: “Is there anything about a P.O. box? Or a locker? Or a post office?”
Kathy: “I go to the post office.”
L: “Is there something you pass on the way that reminds you of Tyler every time?”
K: “The boy who was driving the car works right there, by the post office.”
L: “So, he survived?”
K: “Yes.”
L: “And Tyler is saying that that boy is hurting a lot.”
K: “Yes.”
L: “What is his name? Allen? There is the other ‘A.’” (Louise had asked about two “A’s.”) “Have you talked to Allen?”
K: “Yes.”
L: “Has it been hard to do?”
K: “Yes.”
L: “Tyler is saying that it will get easier. And when you are feeling uplifted from what you are learning as a result of the loss, please bring Allen into that light. That doesn’t mean you have to become evangelical.
“Now Tyler says Allen needs to know that he and Allen had been in a war together in another lifetime and the roles were reversed. He is showing me a scene on a battlefield, with him in uniform. Tyler had said, ‘Go to the left!’—instead of to the right. He felt responsible for the loss of Allen’s life. So his own grief caused him to bring others grief. He took his own self-scorn out on others. And he was so angry with himself that it made him angry with everybody else. It was supposed to happen this way, this lifetime. But, now Allen has to know that he can drop the ball now.”
K: “Is Tyler glad about what we did in court?”
L: “What did you do? Did you release him?”
K: “We helped him.”
L: “Tyler is very glad. There is something about looking through a phone book or a directory . . . or something thick. Could be like swearing on a book. Did you testify?”
K: “David spoke in court. He didn’t testify.”
L: “And he said?”
K: “David said that he didn’t want Allen to go to jail.”
L: “So you came forward in his defense?”
K: “Yes.”
L: “Tyler is glad. He is so glad. He says that you had to. He was there nudging you! He’s saying that Allen would have been ‘done for’ if he had gone to jail. He was really working hard to influence you. But your goodness did it. Your ability to forgive. And now you are passing on goodness.”
K: “We told the court . . . that is what Tyler would have wanted.”
L: “SEE? Because it was. He says that is exactly what he wanted. It would have carried it beyond what the lesson was for, if Allen went to jail. Not payback. Karma balances.”
(The judge had told Allen that he would be serving six months. After David read the statement, the judge said, “I’m going to do what that man asked.” He did not sentence Allen to any jail time. In my reading with Louise, she said that Tyler used the words—in reference to Allen going to jail—“done for.” Our family was using the word “destroyed.” Another confirmation of Tyler’s presence).
L: “Was Allen drinking?”
K: “Yes.”
L: “Tyler says that he did something even dumber in that other lifetime. He wants you to help pull Allen out of his hole—when it feels right. He might need some background. Maybe some books about near-death experiences.”

The Saturday following my private session with Louise, I attended a workshop. Following Louise’s opening talk, we had exercises in remote viewing and then some short readings. Many loved ones came in for most of us. It seemed to me that Tyler came in so strongly that he was almost interrupting Louise. He wanted to tell me something. I need to explain the background in order for you to recognize the importance of what Tyler was trying to let us know.

Within a few days of the first anniversary of Tyler’s death, I was driving to the post office. At the corner down the street, I thought I saw Allen, the young man who had been the driver in the accident. He was waiting to walk across the street. I got to the turning lane and realized it was Allen. I was hoping that he would not see me, as I did not feel up to talking to him at that moment. But he did see me and we waved at each other. My brother was in the car with me, and I told him that I must be supposed to talk with Allen. I stopped in the parking lot of the pizza parlor where Allen works and we hugged and talked.

I had mentioned this incident to Louise earlier, the day of the workshop. When we got to the readings, many people came through to our group. Tyler came through and talked of several things and of several of his friends.

When Louise went on to talk to others in the group, Tyler would sometimes seem to make comments. He was telling Louise about a dry cleaners that I had passed. When she told me, I realized that it was the cleaners in the small shopping center I drove by just before I saw Allen. This was near the post office that she mentioned in my private session.

Tyler told Louise that at the time—when I was driving by the cleaners—he communicated to me to stop and talk to Allen! How wonderful!

That was one more confirmation that even though I do not consciously hear him, I am getting some messages from him. We are so connected. Many things we have learned through Louise’s wonderful gift have confirmed that Tyler has communicated his wishes to us—many times.

Tyler seems very concerned about some of his friends and his brother. It helps us to know that he is so close to us. Our love is constant and forever.
Losing Tyler has been so painful. To not have him here in our daily life is to have a part of ourselves missing. We are grateful for the knowledge that he is not really gone, that he lives on and gives us comfort.

Kathy Routt